my soft spot

just a mom who plays hockey and knits

Monday, February 12, 2007

Ow

Many, if not all, of you know that I broke up with my sweetie last Wednesday. It was a painful decision, difficult message to deliver, and I am still periodically fighting back tears. Some days are better and others are excruciating. I went to a church workshop on Saturday and found myself frantically scanning for her, before I was told by a mutual friend that she had decided not to come. I tried to ask myself why I so frantically needed to know if she was there, and realized that the next time I see her, it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I would like fair warning. I think about her a lot and am still trying to see if there is another way. I don't think there is, but it was very hard to give up this relationship. I understand she is not sleeping well; I hope the intervening days have brought her some comfort. I know she is reaching out to her friends and I hope that is helping. I am also reaching out and have found my sister to be a great comfort to me.

3 Comments:

At 7:31 PM, February 12, 2007, Blogger Dharma said...

It's hard to know if knowing in advance will help or increase the anxiety *because* you know it will happen. I'm sorry honey. I still haven't seen my ex since she moved east 1.5 years ago. Sometimes I think I'm *still* not ready.

 
At 5:54 AM, February 13, 2007, Blogger Brooklynne Michelle said...

Kevin(my ex that I just broke up with) and I are friends it hurt at first when I saw him, and still now sometimes its a punch in the gut to see him.... I dunno if it ever stops.... I'm sorry your going through this.... Let me know if there is anyway I can help...

Brooklynne

 
At 9:17 AM, February 13, 2007, Blogger wen said...

big hugs. it sounds like it was a hard decision for you. the book "coming apart" is a pretty good read wrt break ups. a friend recommended it to me when my 10+ year relationship ended. there's a chapter on how even if you are the 'breaker upper', things can be hard.

 

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