Ow

Many, if not all, of you know that I broke up with my sweetie last Wednesday. It was a painful decision, difficult message to deliver, and I am still periodically fighting back tears. Some days are better and others are excruciating. I went to a church workshop on Saturday and found myself frantically scanning for her, before I was told by a mutual friend that she had decided not to come. I tried to ask myself why I so frantically needed to know if she was there, and realized that the next time I see her, it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I would like fair warning. I think about her a lot and am still trying to see if there is another way. I don't think there is, but it was very hard to give up this relationship. I understand she is not sleeping well; I hope the intervening days have brought her some comfort. I know she is reaching out to her friends and I hope that is helping. I am also reaching out and have found my sister to be a great comfort to me.