my soft spot

just a mom who plays hockey and knits

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Sticking to my guns

G is so slow at getting out of the car when we get home. It drives me nuts. Also, I am getting tired of nudging/nagging him when he needs to get moving and get things done.

So last Saturday, we had plans to go to see Ratatouille, the 5:05 show. I did stamping that afternoon with my stamping group, then we headed home to get ready to go to the show. I explained to him that I was tired of nagging him and that I'm sure he didn't like it, so he was responsible for getting ready for the movie himself. We arrived home. I got out of the car and he just sat there. I put my things down, peered down into the car; he just sat there. I would normally have called to him, but didn't. I did something in the house, came back out, looked down, still there. I think I knit for a while. Finally, I went down to the car and knocked on the hood. He looked up, but didn't get out. After more than five minutes, he got out, wandered into the house, and finally asked me when we were leaving for the movie. "We're not," I said. I explained about the responsibility thing and matter-of-factly pointed out that he'd failed on that count. It was too late and we weren't going.

Predictably, he was crushed. Yelled, tried to hit me (I think he did once), got put in his room several times, lost his favorite stuffed elephant... and we talked. I pointed out that his voice was getting to the point when he tries to hit, so I was putting him in his room to calm down. Pointed out that he hadn't tried to get ready, so we weren't going to make it--that it hadn't been my decision, but rather, his. And after freaking out for a bit, he seemed to really get it. He was sad but not violent. Even implied that yes, he would like me to nag him instead of being responsible (but backpedaled on that one pretty soon after).

I'll tell ya, I very nearly caved. There was a 7PM showing, and we could have gone, but his bedtime is 8:30 and being on time to bed is a Good Thing. So I told him that if things went well the next day, we could go after the baby shower.

He went to bed early, learned that I mean it, and got to see the movie the next day. All good.

(Ironically, we were late the next day and missed about the first 7 minutes. A kind usher even looked up on her schedule which theater to move to to see the first 7 minutes, as the movie after us was something completely different. Great movie!)


At 4:39 PM, July 26, 2007, Blogger Dharma said...

I think you did a great thing. Certainly trying a new tract to working on this is important for family harmony. Does G-man understand clocks, or timers? That may help him start to learn what 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc *feels* like.

At 11:25 PM, July 26, 2007, Blogger andrea said...

ha, here i thought he was just going to wait in the car until it was time to go to the theater.


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