my soft spot

just a mom who plays hockey and knits

Monday, April 28, 2008

How to teach the dispassionate to be compassionate

Now that it seems like the Asperger's diagnosis is more possible, I've been reflecting on what it may mean. This kid needs some compassion, some social awareness, a way to interact with his peers without anxiety and with caring.

It reminds me just too much of Dexter, which I've been watching lately. His father works so hard to teach him how to act like the rest of society--including, in a recent episode, to smile in photographs. It definitely feels like that when I have to teach G to say, "Excuse me; I'd like to read now" when I talk to him as he's reading, rather than "Stop talking!" or something even ruder. And when I have to teach him to look at people when he says "Thank you" or "Hello" or even "You're welcome."

The feeling is not one of "fake it till you make it" but rather, "Do it this way even though it'll always feel alien to you." And that right there is just crushingly sad.


At 10:41 AM, May 08, 2008, Blogger wen said...

i used to look after a girl with quite severe aspergers, and while there were definitely ways she was different from other kids, she was seriously one of the coolest kids i've ever met. she needed LOTS of structure and she did melt down, but overall, she was a blast. my partner at the time and i would go stay at her house when her mom went out of town for a couple weeks (to see her husband who was stationed elsewhere for work). so we got the full effect. ;)

good luck with it all!

At 4:29 PM, May 08, 2008, Blogger McJedi said...

*hugs and support* :-)

At 4:23 PM, May 21, 2008, Blogger Dharma said...

Thinking about you and the Gman a lot. Dexter is an extreme example of a sociopath, not aspergers. Socipathology is a scary diagnosis not because it is scary but because the public is only aware of people like Dexter. It's about a lack of compassion/empathy. Aspergers is more "acceptable" right now, it's a good idea to really investigate the actual "symptoms" or "standars of diagnosis for both in many cases.


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