my soft spot

just a mom who plays hockey and knits

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Another freaky dream

While at my mom's, I had a horrible dream.

Part of it is obviously part of my (periodic) guilt over leaving G while I play hockey.

I had left him to go do something (play hockey, I think). Remember, I told you it was freaky. He was wearing the footed fleece pjs we brought on our trip, which turned out to be too big (in real life), so he didn't wear them (again, in real life). When I left him (in the dream), he was in the oven, which was on, at about 350 degrees. I came back, and with a start realized he'd been playing in there about an hour. I opened the door and he crawled out. I thought it was odd that his hands didn't burn on the oven floor, but realized that he had been in the oven and presumably his body was already that temp, so they wouldn't burn. He stood up and started talking to me excitedly, nonstop. Then his mouth was moving but words didn't come out. He looked kind of confused and went to crawl back into the oven. At this point, I'm thinking, OMG, his lungs are just baked, that's why he can't talk any more. I stopped him from crawling back into the oven, as that seemed like a really bad idea and he looked at me and just crumpled to the floor in front of me. I realized that CPR wouldn't do anything, as his lungs simply wouldn't work to get oxygen into his body; the only thing that could possibly save him would be an instant transfusion of oxygenated blood. I started to open a vein but of course didn't have any medical equipment handy to hook us up together (nor, of course, sufficient medical knowhow) and there was just no way I could save him. All because of my own stupidity.

I was so traumatized by the dream, I couldn't tell my mom or my sister for several hours after I woke up. I still haven't even told G what happened in the dream, just that it was awful and about him. I was glad he was sleeping in the same bed as me so I could just pull him close and hold him and listen to him breathe.

That dream SUCKED.


At 2:45 PM, March 14, 2006, Blogger snarfdog said...

totally sucky! I'm sorry - I know how awful those dreams can be. Just hug him close, and tell him you love him. Forget telling him about it, it'll just traumatize him and you all over again.

At 7:05 PM, March 14, 2006, Blogger heather said...

yeah agree, it would probably just freak him out. that is some nasty imagery but don't let it guilt you into not playing hockey. the little man is just fine, i'm sure. and the hockey is good for you. :-)

At 9:36 PM, March 14, 2006, Blogger Dharma said...

What a scary dream. Don't tell him, no reason. Really. I'm not sure it's about hockey, not really anyway. I think it's more about him changing, growing up and old Graham being gone. So it's about hockey, or anything in your life that takes your attention and thus it feels like you were away just a moment and everything has changed without you. But I could be wrong.


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