Got to get some air

I've been having a tough time with allergies lately, I think. My breathing is suddenly a challenge--needing to use my albuterol inhaler a lot more lately. This is in line with colds that I get, which always make it harder on my lungs, but it feels more like an allergy, like I've stirred up a lot of dust lately (which could be the culprit). But it's frustrating. I'm so out of touch with my breathing that I'll be climbing the back stairs, or reading my son a story, or just standing still to make a decision, and realize that I'm wheezing and it's a bit of a struggle to pull in a breath.

I've heard it's rather common, this denial thing around asthma. I was diagnosed at 25, with the doctor saying I've probably had it all my life (I remember having a lot of colds as a youngster). And I was in serious denial of the asthma for at least 10 yrs. I think it was after staying up all night, listening to my breathing, feeling very alarmed, and waiting for my doctor's office to open, when I realized this was serious stuff. After taking antibiotics and a tapering dose of prednisone (everybody and nobody's friend), I started to get serious. I got an asthma management plan and started to follow it.

Since denial is quite powerful, I backslid a bit. And I'm still not aware when I'm wheezing. Sweet K is quite gentle about asking if my breathing feels OK rather than snapping, "You're wheezing," at me. I do try to keep up on my maintenance meds, which really do keep me from having a severe asthma attack these days.

But I still hate asthma.